1 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,240 TRACY: Bye! Don't forget her lunch! 2 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,000 MAN: Yeah, I know, darling. 3 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:22,720 (ALARM BEEPS) 4 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,120 (ALARM BEEPS) 5 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,640 - (ENGINE FAILS TO START) - Come on. 6 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:30,960 (KNOCK ON WINDOW) 7 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,800 Dozy twat! 8 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,480 - Sorry. - (ENGINE CUTS OUT) 9 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,200 - (ENGINE FAILS TO START) - (HORNS BEEP) 10 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,960 All right! 11 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,920 So, doing anything fun tonight? 12 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,760 Yes, actually. I thought I'd, erm, go home three hours late, 13 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,360 get shouted at and fall asleep on the toilet. 14 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:04,960 There should be some kind of legal form 15 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,000 that people have to sign before they date doctors. 16 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,320 - What, like sex offenders do? - Yeah, exactly. 17 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,080 Your girlfriend must be used to 18 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,000 the late nights by now, though, right? 19 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,360 Fiancé, actually. 20 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,440 Oh, congratulations! 21 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,360 And it's F-I-N-A-N-C-E. 22 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,760 "Finance"? 23 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:31,240 No, I meant, erm, as in... one E. 24 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,600 The male version. 25 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:35,920 I'm gay. 26 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,280 Oh, shit. Oh, sorr... 27 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:39,960 - Erm, I didn't... - It's fine. 28 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,440 My alpha-male demeanour clearly threw you off the scent. 29 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,800 So, who proposed, then? 30 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,720 We both sort of did, actually. 31 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,280 In a graveyard. Obviously. 32 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:53,680 We're actually exchanging the rings tonight. 33 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,280 That's lovely. 34 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,920 Do you have a special someone you apologise to? 35 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,600 Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 36 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,040 I'm actually in a polyamorous 37 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,000 three-way relationship right now, so it's me, 38 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,840 gynaecology textbooks and a bucket of cheap chow mein. 39 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,840 Right. How does the sex work with the three of you? 40 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,480 Hm! Sounds intriguing! 41 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,360 Right, this complaint, then. 42 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,920 I've just sent off my statement, 43 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,080 and when you do yours, you're obviously going to say 44 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,840 what happened on the night in question. 45 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:24,800 Yeah, of course. 46 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,040 That you told us to send the patient home. 47 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,200 Yeah, but that was before it was a complaint. 48 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,600 Now I think we need to be 49 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,200 a little more scrupulous with the facts. 50 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:40,000 Fuck! He's withdrawing what he said. The bastard! 51 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,360 He's withdrawing it like a condomless cock 52 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,400 and spraying it in our faces. 53 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,240 You sent her home without asking me. 54 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,240 That's the truth, and I strongly suggest 55 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,320 that that's what you write in your statements. 56 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,400 Fudging the facts can only make things 57 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,800 worse in the long run. 58 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,320 ADAM: Of course, Mr Lockhart. 59 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:57,400 I've always wondered 60 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,080 what the underneath of a bus looks like. 61 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,760 Well, off you go. 62 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,280 Shut the door. 63 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,560 SHRUTI: I thought you said this wasn't a disaster. 64 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:11,640 "This isn't a GMC thing. 65 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,160 "We're not going to get struck off." 66 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,960 It's precisely a disaster. 67 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,880 But can't we just write the truth on our forms 68 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,160 and sweat it out? 69 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,680 Well, I would do that, obviously, 70 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,840 but I've already submitted my statement. 71 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,240 And you wrote...? 72 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,760 That he told us to send the patient home! 73 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,240 I mean, what was I supposed to say to him? 74 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,600 "That's so kind to offer, but, no, thanks." 75 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,120 Listen, it's fine. I'll handle it. 76 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,000 How? 77 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,600 I've got something. It's fine. 78 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:39,880 You'd better. 79 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,760 Got nothing. It's very un-fine. 80 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,120 SHRUTI: Yes, I'm still really enjoying it. 81 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,560 Nine babies now. 82 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,400 Yeah, they went really well. 83 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,520 Yeah, their parents all named them Shruti, so... 84 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,680 No, Mum, that was a joke. I was... 85 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,000 I was obviously joking. They don't really do that. 86 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,160 No, I can't next week. That's not how the rota works. 87 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,760 Yeah, of course I'm eating. 88 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,560 Oh, er, that's my bleep going off. 89 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,240 Yeah, I'd better get back. 90 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,880 Uh-huh. Will do. 91 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,360 (SPEAKS HINDI) 92 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,840 OK. 93 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,200 Yeah. Love to Dad. 94 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,600 OK, bye. Bye. 95 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,600 (TOILET FLUSHES) 96 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:53,680 All right? 97 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,720 Here. 98 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,280 Use this. 99 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,480 That stuff'll sand your face off. 100 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,600 Thank you. 101 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,680 - Oh, thank God you're here. - Go on. 102 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:36,280 I have been totally abandoned. I'm on my own here today. 103 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,520 Tracy and Ria have been sent off 104 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,000 on some stupid course, and we've got 105 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,960 - triplets to deliver. - Triplets? 106 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,040 Exactly. Three times the chance something'll go wrong. 107 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,920 Triplets happen one in every 6,500 pregnancies. 108 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,480 Not often on a labour ward do you get the chance 109 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,600 to do something you've never done before. 110 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:52,640 Today of all days! 111 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,320 - What are the odds? - Go on, what are the odds? 112 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,560 - Of triplets? - Oh, erm, one in 4,000? 113 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,600 Actually, that's wrong. 114 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,040 Once you take IVF into account. 115 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,320 All right, Stephen Dorking. 116 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,160 Erm, who's the consultant on today? 117 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,720 Erm, I think it's Ms Houghton. 118 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,080 I saw her in the toilet. 119 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,640 Can I have a quick word? 120 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,080 Yeah. 121 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,600 No midwives, no ward clerk, 122 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,720 and now the doctors are leaving. 123 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,320 OK, so, this statement thing, right? It's easy. 124 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,160 All you should do is just, like, send in a new one. 125 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,680 Yeah? Like, just say you made a typo or something. 126 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,360 Right. One of those typos where 127 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,640 I accidentally falsified my whole story. 128 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,760 Well, you have to do something. It's my career, too. 129 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,320 Don't suppose there's anybody fucking working here today, 130 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,120 - is there? - Sorry, Ms Houghton. 131 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,120 - We were just, er... - All right, you. 132 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,800 I hope those shoes have got steel toecaps. 133 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:36,760 We're going to kick today a whole new arsehole. 134 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,440 - OK... - Are you going to do something 135 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,280 or just stand there like a bottle of fucking mayonnaise? 136 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,560 Why don't you get a round of coffees in? 137 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,880 Tell you what, get yourself one, too. 138 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,960 Sorry, darling. The bus broke down. 139 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,920 No problem, just grab a name badge and find a seat. 140 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,560 So, as I was saying, geriatrics 141 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,000 should now be referred to as... 142 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,280 ..."care of the older person". 143 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,000 "Care of the older person"? They make it sound like a spa. 144 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,840 I don't know why they don't just go the whole hog, 145 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,240 call it "care of the inevitable". 146 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,480 I'm sure it used to be called that three directives ago. 147 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,080 Anything I can help you with, ladies? 148 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:48,920 Oh, we were just saying that it's, erm, it's great that, er, 149 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,480 older patients will no longer be crippled 150 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,680 - by old-fashioned language. - We... 151 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,640 We don't say "crippled". 152 00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:58,960 Apologies. 153 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,160 You twat. 154 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,440 Patients should now be referred to as..."clients". 155 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,080 That's because the word "patient" 156 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,520 actually stems from the Latin "patiens", which.... 157 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,600 If they're clients, then what are we? 158 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,240 Prostitutes? 159 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,200 Well, at least if I was a prostitute, 160 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,840 I wouldn't have to put up with that prick. 161 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,880 I wouldn't bet on it. 162 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,560 (CLEARS HIS THROAT) I'm just equipping you with 163 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,360 the right language to do your jobs properly. 164 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,040 I'm sure my patients will be thrilled. 165 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,840 Clients. 166 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,520 BOTH: Clients! 167 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,120 Did you go to fucking Brazil for those? 168 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,120 Sorry, there was, erm, 169 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,040 only one person working at the coffee shop. 170 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,200 "There was a lahlahlahlahlah." 171 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,240 Keeping the change, or what? 172 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,640 Yeah. 173 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,840 Ms Houghton, I've been thinking a lot about triplets. 174 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,440 No-one wants to hear about your wank bank. 175 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:02,720 Very pithy. 176 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,200 So, what I meant was, erm, 177 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,840 with regard to the forthcoming operative 178 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,440 - delivery of the triplets... - Oh! 179 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,080 Such verisimilitude, Dr Kay. 180 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,520 I don't know what it means. 181 00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:16,400 I just felt the need to join in with the fancy words. 182 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,720 Erm... 183 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,800 ...about the, er, triplets, erm... 184 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,880 ...I wonder if you might allow me to perhaps do the Caesarean. 185 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,800 I've obviously done several sets of twins, and, erm... 186 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,320 ...it would be an incredible boost 187 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,760 to my professional development to have the opportunity 188 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,560 to, erm, to learn your technique. 189 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,040 What the fuck do you think the technique is? 190 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,160 You pull the babies out 191 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,400 till there aren't any more fucking babies to pull out. 192 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:47,280 Right, shall we go and meet the parents? 193 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,440 Sorry, "encounter the progenitors". 194 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,280 I'd say this is going very well. 195 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,000 Hi! I'm Adam, 196 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,120 one of the doctors, and this is Ms Houghton, the consultant. 197 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,600 This is nice, isn't it? 198 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,360 It's like having a town crier. 199 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,360 My name's Vicky. You are...? 200 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,280 I'm Jasmine, and this is Dave. 201 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:18,760 Lovely. I hear you've got a little something for me. 202 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,880 Oh, erm, yeah, three little somethings. 203 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,920 Three Little Birds. Do you remember that one? 204 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,760 Come on, you know it. 205 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,080 206 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,120 207 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,720 208 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,880 209 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:41,200 to you-ou-ou... 210 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,920 (BOTH LAUGH AWKWARDLY) 211 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,040 212 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,280 213 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:48,880 214 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,600 Come on, you're up, guys. 215 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,000 BOTH: 216 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,080 217 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,360 218 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,880 Yeah, I'm not going to lie, we don't get triplets in here 219 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,840 - every day! - Thank goodness. 220 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,120 Yeah, thank goodness. Last thing we need's 221 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,640 a world shortage of bootees and bonnets! 222 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,440 You're in safe hands. 223 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:15,800 I mean, 224 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,760 we've got three goes, so 225 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,440 by the time the last one's out, we'll be great at it, won't we? 226 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,640 You got names sorted? 227 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:25,880 Yeah. We reckon so. 228 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,880 Milly, Billie and Lily. 229 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,880 It's difficult finding three names that rhyme. 230 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,120 No comment. 231 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,520 What time do you want to get her round to theatre? 232 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,320 Well, there's no time like the present. 233 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,480 Shall we see if the theatre's ready? 234 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,240 I think someone's toast's burning. 235 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,520 Probably just electing a new Pope. 236 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,760 Yeah, Pope Eggs Benedict XV! 237 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,480 Pope Shepherd's Pius II. 238 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,400 "Shepherd's Pius"! 239 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,880 - Did you hear that? - Yeah. 240 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,720 TRACY: Sorry, can we get back to the triplets? 241 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,400 What, Huey, Dewey and Louie? Bordering on child abuse. 242 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:03,440 (ADAM CHUCKLES) 243 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,800 Had one the other week called Lasagne! 244 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,880 Lasagne! 245 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,520 Yeah, I'm sure the patients 246 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,000 on the labour ward apologised for not having 247 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,560 your level of education, Dr Kay. 248 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,240 - Well, I didn't... - Shruti, 249 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,560 you're doing the triplets. You, 250 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,240 why don't you get yourself down to AandE, 251 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,960 see if you can clear some of the backlog? 252 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,720 There's a bloody good bloody old chap. 253 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,280 Hi, Erika. How are you doing? 254 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,000 Oh, you know, pomme ci, pomme ça. 255 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,560 It's actually... 256 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:06,560 Yeah. 257 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,960 Can I ask you a question about mist? 258 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,600 Erm, yes, I...guess. 259 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,920 Well, he's got a lump on the back of his head. 260 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,040 Sorry, what...? 261 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,360 Look, you can see under his hat, look. 262 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:15,520 He's got a lump right at the back. 263 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,160 Oh, I'm sorry. 264 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,240 I didn't realise you'd... Mist. 265 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,680 What a nice name. 266 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:27,480 What's wrong with calling a baby Steve once in a while? 267 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,920 Does it have, erm, a special meaning? 268 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,680 Oh, yeah, yeah, it does, actually. 269 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:32,920 It's like a type of rain. 270 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,040 Could you...have a look for me? 271 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,640 Oh, that's not really my speciality. 272 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,400 Best to ask the baby doctors when they come round. 273 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,000 Yeah, but they haven't been round yet this morning, 274 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,920 and I tried to get someone to come over, 275 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,880 but no-one's coming over, so I'm getting... 276 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,080 Have a quick look. 277 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,680 It's just under here. 278 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,080 Can you see? 279 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:03,920 OK, erm, that's called an occipital protuberance. 280 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,080 Oh, my God! 281 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,440 Will... Will he be OK? 282 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,440 Yeah. It's normal. You've got one here. 283 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:12,800 Oh, did he catch it from me? 284 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,160 What, is his brain going to be, like...all right? 285 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,880 Erm, honestly, it's nothing at all to worry about. 286 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,200 Sorry. 287 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,760 Thank you, Dr Adam. 288 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,720 You're just the best! 289 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,360 All part of the job. (CHUCKLES) 290 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,000 I hope you don't mind me asking, sorry, 291 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,360 but why have you made a complaint about me? 292 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,920 Oh, no, no, it's not about you. 293 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,480 It's about the hospital. 294 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,880 Right, it's just that it does put quite a lot of pressure, 295 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,720 you know, sort of stress on me. 296 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,360 Oh. Erm... 297 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,720 It's just my sister said 298 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,480 we should get something back after... 299 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,920 ...after what happened. 300 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:57,480 Sure. 301 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:58,800 OK. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 302 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,480 Don't judge me. 303 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,520 Erika, sorry, I don't m-m-mean to 304 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,480 speak out of turn. Erm, I'm just wondering if... 305 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,120 ...maybe the reason that you haven't been able to see 306 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,960 a baby doctor this morning is because they're avoiding you, 307 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,600 in case, you know, 308 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,440 you complain about them, too. 309 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,000 But they wouldn't do anything 310 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,720 to put my baby in danger, though. 311 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:22,880 Erm... 312 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,840 Listen, if I was looking after him, 313 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,960 it wouldn't affect my care one bit. I just... 314 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,600 I can't speak for everyone here. 315 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,480 But ignore me, because I... 316 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,400 Yeah, I shouldn't have said anything. 317 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,240 What do you think I should do? 318 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,400 Erm, I think you're going to figure it out. 319 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,720 You know, mums know best. 320 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,520 And stay strong, really, for Mist. 321 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,680 (HUBBUB) 322 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,760 We've been here for about an hour! 323 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:32,960 Come on, then. 324 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,600 Here we go. OK? 325 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,080 Big pull. 326 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,280 There you are. 327 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,400 Are you sure you don't want to do it? 328 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,560 Yeah, you're kind to offer, mate, but what I actually want 329 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,000 is 20 Rothmans Superkings, 330 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:08,840 and at the moment you're standing in the way of them. 331 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,480 Right, bang a finger in there, then. That's it. 332 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,680 - OK, nearly there. - OK. 333 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,320 Just a few more seconds. Yeah. 334 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,280 OK. The good news is, I can't see any cause of the bleeding. 335 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,280 And what are you doing this evening? 336 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,480 Funny you should ask. 337 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,960 I'm going to this restaurant that we really love. 338 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,760 Oh, OK, great. Er, can you call the New York office 339 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,560 when they open and get someone to overnight the documents? 340 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,600 Uh-huh. Ooh, yeah, 341 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,320 and make sure someone from derivatives 342 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,240 knows they're coming. Fab. OK, thanks so much. 343 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:40,720 MS HOUGHTON: Whoa! 344 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,720 It's like the front row at SeaWorld here. 345 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,320 OK, see if you can grab a leg. 346 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,880 (SUCTION) 347 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,080 Um, I'm pretty sure that's an arm. 348 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,640 It's been a long time since I've been at med school, but... 349 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,120 Do you want to have another try of the lucky dip there, Shruti? 350 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,440 Got it. Beautiful! 351 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,480 Right, yeah, I think I can see what the problem is. 352 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,880 Any idea how he might have got in there? 353 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,080 MS HOUGHTON: First baby coming up. 354 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,760 (BABY CRIES) 355 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,720 Hooray! 356 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,040 Look. 357 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,280 OK. 358 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,600 Stick or twist? 359 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,800 All right. Guys, she's going again. 360 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,200 Erm, one question. 361 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,360 Why have you got a bottle in here? 362 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,760 It's got my mum's piss in it. 363 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,200 Forgive me for asking a follow-up question... 364 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,640 It's a drug test for my probation officer. 365 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,320 You're creating a lot of paperwork for me here. 366 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,640 How about...I fell on it? 367 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,920 We have a winner. 368 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,600 Oi, oi, oi. I need that. 369 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,400 Give me my shit, man. 370 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,400 (BABY CRIES) 371 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,440 Two for the price of one. Hooray! 372 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,600 Hello, sweetheart. 373 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,960 Right, what do you reckon, are we going in 374 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,160 - for number three? - Mm-hm. 375 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,200 You're doing great. 376 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,080 Respect. 377 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:38,880 Thanks for that. 378 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,000 - Empathy. - Lovely, Ian. Thanks. 379 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,400 - Confidentiality? - Terrific! 380 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,000 - Erm, compassion. - Great! 381 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,120 Next time I'm pregnant with triplets, 382 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,520 I'm getting you to do them. 383 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,600 Bang-up job there. 384 00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,640 Thank you. 385 00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,920 Oh, shit! 386 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,440 What? 387 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,680 I think you left some scissors inside her. 388 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,280 You'd better open her up again. 389 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,640 Oh! Erm... OK. I'm so sorry! I, erm... 390 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,200 (MS HOUGHTON LAUGHS) 391 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:12,840 Gotcha! 392 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,560 Oh... 393 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,400 (STILL LAUGHING) 394 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,120 Ms Houghton, erm, 395 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,400 I was wondering if you might have a free moment for me 396 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,040 to pick your brain about something? About work, really. 397 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,920 I can pop by your office if you've got a free minute. 398 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,160 Sounds awful. Here's a better idea. How about we do it 399 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,840 over a quattro stagioni and a bottle of Jacob's Creek? 400 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,280 Well, I wouldn't want to take up too much of your time. 401 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,320 Do I look like I eat slowly? 402 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,640 Finish off the skin. 403 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,840 I need to take my lung medicine. 404 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,000 (MAN CRIES OUT) 405 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,240 Dr Kay? 406 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:00,560 I was told you'd be down here. 407 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,600 My sister's in bits, thinking she's endangered her baby. 408 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,080 Erm, I'm sorry, I don't know what... 409 00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:05,240 How could you say that to her? 410 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,560 You don't understand. 411 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:10,240 I, er, I didn't say that she had, erm... 412 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,840 I, erm, had worked two shifts back to back 413 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,520 the day I delivered her, I'd slept for three hours 414 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,640 in two nights. There was all this pressure at the hospital. 415 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,040 I had to miss my best friend's stag do. 416 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,800 How dare you try and make me feel bad! 417 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,680 We're exercising our legal rights. 418 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:29,400 Your mistake 419 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,760 had consequences for my sister and my nephew. 420 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,800 And that's going to have consequences for you. 421 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,400 OK, next one. 422 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:43,320 "Suffers from." "Suffers from." 423 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,080 What do we say instead? 424 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:50,040 - "Lives with"? - "Lives with," yeah. 425 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,680 Thanks, Ian. OK, next one. "Disabled." 426 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,320 - "Differently abled." - "Differently abled"! 427 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:58,640 Well, the blue team are on fire! 428 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,640 Er, yeah, question from the red team. 429 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:02,840 Tracy? 430 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,120 What's wrong with saying "disabled"? 431 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:07,240 Remember this morning? We talked about inclusivity. 432 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,000 This is what we call a... 433 00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,040 - "Negative." - "Negative," yeah. 434 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:12,400 Thanks, Ian. And we shouldn't be using negatives. 435 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,640 All that will happen is that the patients won't understand 436 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:15,880 what we're talking to them about. 437 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:16,760 Isn't it "clients"? 438 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,760 Yeah, it is "clients", actually. 439 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,000 Erm, 440 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,200 next one. 441 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,200 "Birth defect." 442 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:25,840 We haven't got a working printer on our ward. 443 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:29,800 We've had a leak in the ceiling for over four years, 444 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,720 and this is what they're spending their money on? 445 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:32,960 As your facilitator, 446 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,680 it's my job to remind you of the four pillars of the trust. 447 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,640 - OK? - (PAGER BEEPS) 448 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,600 PAGER: ...crash call to Accident and Emergency. 449 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,280 That's obstetric team... 450 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,840 (SIGHS) 451 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,560 I should... I should probably... 452 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:54,400 (ALARM BLARES) 453 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,640 Adam Kay, obstetrics. Who's running the arrest? 454 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,840 Kiran Chowdry, AandE. That was quick. Good man. 455 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,720 Came in feeling short of breath. 37 weeks, 456 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,360 first baby, collapsed on her way to the cubicle. 457 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:07,520 No respiratory effort, 458 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:08,960 no pulse for three minutes now. 459 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,800 I want to stay with my wife! 460 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,200 Get me a scalpel. 461 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,200 - Perimortem section. - What, now? Here? 462 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,120 You've had one cycle of CPR with no output. 463 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,480 - I'm delivering. - You done this before? 464 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:19,960 Yep. 465 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,280 Well, I've delivered babies before. 466 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,600 (FATHER GASPS) 467 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,560 - Scissors. - Scissors. 468 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,840 - I'm delivering. - Off the chest. 469 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,720 - Help me? - Yep. 470 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,040 This is a case of nothing to lose. 471 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,080 The patient is basically already dead. 472 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:40,480 The baby is pressing against her major blood vessels. 473 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,480 This is our only chance of resuscitating her. 474 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,320 OK, pull. 475 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:46,400 You'll notice the slight lack of blood. 476 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,920 Dead patients don't tend to pump any blood around. 477 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,680 Push. 478 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,160 OK. 479 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,040 Adam? 480 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,440 (SOBS) 481 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,560 - One... - Keep pumping it. 482 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,680 ...two, 483 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,120 three... 484 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,040 ...four, five... 485 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,000 Heart rate is below 60. 486 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,480 OK. 487 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:43,560 - TRACY: Ready? - PAEDIATRICIAN: Yeah. 488 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:44,600 One, two, three. 489 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,120 - One. - One, two, three. 490 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,560 - Two. - One, two, three. 491 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,320 - Three. - One, two, three. 492 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,720 - Four. - One, two, three. 493 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,000 Five. 494 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,280 - (BABY CRIES) - Yeah! Hello, darling! 495 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,280 Hello, sweetheart! 496 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,200 FATHER: You saved the wrong one! 497 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,440 You saved... You saved the wrong one! 498 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,400 Come on, love. 499 00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:15,360 DR CHOWDRY: OK, pull CPR. 500 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,720 What about direct cardiac massage? 501 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:19,280 What? You mean open the chest? 502 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,520 Do it through the diaphragm. Come on! 503 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,160 DR CHOWDRY: OK, pause compressions. 504 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,080 What's...What's happening? 505 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,560 There's cardiac output. Are you still massaging? 506 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,840 No. She's doing that herself. 507 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:43,960 Right. 508 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,400 OK. 509 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,120 Large swabs! 510 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,400 Now, quickly! And we need to get her into theatre. 511 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,800 Hold this tight until the second she's in theatre. 512 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,800 Right, let's get her onto a trolley. Come on. 513 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:55,920 Fucking hell, mate. 514 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,800 Right, come on, let's get a wiggle on. 515 00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,120 NURSE: Ready? 516 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,640 One, two, three. 517 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:01,680 Lift! 518 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,480 Do you want to close up or just have a massive brandy? 519 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,440 Er, do you mind doing it? 520 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,400 That's proper obstetrics there. You did amazing. 521 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,120 "Ly." 522 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:14,880 "You did amazingly." 523 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:19,880 FATHER: Thank you. 524 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,280 Thank you! Thank you! 525 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:31,080 Thank you, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 526 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,240 Theatre two - ready now. 527 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,560 Er, Dr Kay? Can I have a word? 528 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,400 (SIGHS) 529 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,720 Some of us have been delivering triplets. 530 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,800 How was it? 531 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,880 Yeah, it was great. I can't believe I actually managed it. 532 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,160 Mm. We were all quite shocked. 533 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,080 How was AandE? 534 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,040 Yeah, you know, the usual crap. 535 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,000 Had a bit of good news, though. 536 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,320 You're finally going on that communication skills course? 537 00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:35,760 Um, Erika dropped the complaint. 538 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,440 Oh, my God! 539 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,800 Are you serious? How the hell did you manage that? 540 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,160 You don't want to know how the sausage gets made. 541 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,640 But you can sleep easy tonight. 542 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,520 Sleep? No, I'll revise easy. 543 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:52,760 Oh, Adam, I'm really worried about the lady in Room Five. 544 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,480 - Would you mind taking a look? - I'm leaving now. 545 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,360 I don't think I've ever said those words before. 546 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,320 Shruti's more than capable of looking after your patient. 547 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,880 I've definitely never said those words before. 548 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,960 Jesus! I was expecting to wait here two hours. 549 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:38,240 Don't worry. This is just a hologram. Adam's still at work. 550 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,000 Knew it. 551 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,360 OK... 552 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:47,160 Hm! 553 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,320 Very good. 554 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:58,120 How was work? 555 00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,760 It was fi... 556 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,400 You know what? It was brilliant. 557 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,880 This pregnant woman collapsed straight in front of me in AandE, 558 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,560 so I took a scalpel and, erm... 559 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,400 How much gory detail do you want? 560 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,880 All of it. Unless it's going to put me off my dinner. 561 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,080 You know, the weird thing about being a doctor 562 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:21,200 is that everyone thinks you're always saving lives. 563 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:25,120 But, actually, it's pretty rare to be able to say that today, 564 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:26,800 - I literally... - (PHONE CHIMES) 565 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,160 Oh! 566 00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,560 (CHUCKLES) PJ and Kenzie. 567 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,680 They're going out later. 568 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:35,920 PJ and Kenzie? 569 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,960 Didn't they get knocked out at Judges' Houses? 570 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,520 You've met them. 571 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,240 PJ's 21st - on the roof of... 572 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:43,520 Oh, no, you were working, 573 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,560 - weren't you? You know Ian? - Yes, I do. 574 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,200 He looks a bit like Ian. 575 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,200 Can I get you an aperitif to kick things off? 576 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,120 Mm, I'll have a champagne, please. Non-vintage. 577 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,280 And I'll have a Foster's. Vintage. 578 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,040 Oh! 579 00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:06,560 Guess, er, guess what's in here? 580 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,000 Oh, I love this game. 581 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,600 Is it the bullet that killed Tupac Shakur? 582 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,040 No, no, the complete works of Shakespeare 583 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,000 written on a grain of rice. A butt plug for a cat? 584 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,160 (EXHALES) 585 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:33,640 It's beautiful. 586 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:42,840 The cat's going to love it. 587 00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:58,560 You know what it is? 588 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:03,680 It's, erm... 589 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:06,040 An engagement ring? 590 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:07,880 So, you remember our first weekend away? 591 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,280 At the Giant's Causeway? 592 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:11,000 This was the penny 593 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,360 you put in the machine that squidged it down. 594 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,040 And I, erm... I made it into a ring. 595 00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:21,440 Well, don't just stare at it. 596 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:22,840 Put it on. 597 00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:28,280 I hope you like it. 598 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,800 You're kind of wearing it for ever now, so... 599 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:35,960 I love it. 600 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,760 Good, cos God knows how I turn it back into a penny. 601 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:43,840 (EXHALES) 602 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,360 Right, so, where are we going to 603 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,280 have the engagement party, then? 604 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,680 Er, we could have a little, erm... 605 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,080 ...dinner party at our, er, our flat. 606 00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,320 Yeah, we could totally do that. 607 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,160 Or we could do something fun. 608 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,400 - (PHONE CHIMES) - Sure. 609 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,560 Oh, PJ and Kenzie are asking if we want to go to Squirt. 610 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,440 - Not for the engagement party? - After dinner. 611 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,640 - Oh! - What do you reckon? 612 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,080 Sure. 613 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:15,480 Although we should ask if they do functions. 614 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,560 How does your mum feel about harnesses? 615 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,600 MS HOUGHTON: So, we're all standing there, 616 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,640 staring at this X-ray of an 80-year-old woman, 617 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:28,720 wondering why she's got a load 618 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,440 of tiny little bones inside her. 619 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:31,960 I said, "All right, 620 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,840 "get her in the stirrups," 621 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,480 had a rummage around. 622 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,960 Turns out she's got half a box of KFC shoved up there. 623 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:41,920 Oh, my God! 624 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:45,680 - Wow! - Do you want some more wine? 625 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,960 Oh, just a little bit. Thank you. 626 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,280 That's... That's fine, thank you. 627 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,080 Top-up. 628 00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,840 Erm, this is so kind of you, seriously. 629 00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:01,880 Honestly, it means so much to have a consultant 630 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,560 just, like, give me some time. 631 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,000 Ah, we've got to stick together, don't we, mate? 632 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:08,520 I mean, yeah, I mean, I honestly thought 633 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,240 I was, like, the only doctor in the country who wasn't 634 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,920 the captain of a quidditch team at some poncey private school. 635 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,760 Full disclosure, mate. 636 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,800 My dad's the Duke of Bedford. 637 00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:20,200 Oh, my God. 638 00:34:20,240 --> 00:34:22,040 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 639 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,000 I-I didn't mean to offend you. I was just... 640 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:26,960 He played darts in the Duke of Bedford. 641 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,480 Oh! 642 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,440 So, what did you want to talk to me about? 643 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,880 Erm, oh, OK. Erm... 644 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,440 Well, er... 645 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:39,760 Er, well, you know 646 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:41,640 - that Caesarean today? - Yeah. 647 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:42,760 It felt like the first time 648 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,360 I'd actually done something right at work. 649 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:45,400 Huh! 650 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,640 I just feel so incompetent there. 651 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:48,920 The whole time, you know? 652 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,520 Like a total fraud. 653 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:53,160 And I'm lying to my parents, 654 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,960 because they are so proud of what they think I've achieved. 655 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,040 So much of the job is just so... 656 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,360 Oh, it's just no-one tells you how upsetting it is. 657 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:03,680 Do you know what I mean? 658 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:05,200 I feel like I'm the first doctor 659 00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:06,480 to have cried in the toilet. 660 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,760 And, you know, like, patients almost bleed to death, 661 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,560 and babies get sick, and... 662 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,880 ...a husband basically assaulted me. 663 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,520 And everyone else is, like, "Fine, yeah, 664 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,400 "this is just the job." 665 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:20,080 It's not fine! 666 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:22,560 Is it? 667 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,680 And where's the support? 668 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:28,960 And even if there was any, I wouldn't have time, 669 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,040 because I'm working 14 hours a day and then revising 670 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:36,080 in between for God knows how many more. I just feel so... 671 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:39,960 ...so constantly overwhelmed. 672 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,360 Like you're permanently fighting fires 673 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:42,480 and you haven't got the right kit. 674 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:45,440 Yeah! 675 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,720 Yeah, that is exactly it. 676 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,880 Are you sure you're in the right job? 677 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:52,920 What do you mean? 678 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,480 Well, it's a difficult job. 679 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:56,840 What do you want me to say? "It gets easier"? It doesn't. 680 00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,800 By the time you retire, there's going to be a bus load 681 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,200 of dead babies with your name on it. 682 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:04,960 If you can't handle that fact, maybe you should get out now. 683 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,080 Well, no-one's making you be here, are they? 684 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,760 That's just you and some fucked-up fantasy 685 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,720 you've got about what your parents will think. 686 00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:16,680 You need to decide, number one, 687 00:36:16,720 --> 00:36:19,400 do you really want to be doing this, 688 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,920 and, more importantly, number two, 689 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:23,120 are we going to get 690 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,440 another glass of limoncello in, or what? 691 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:31,400 Yeah, sure. 692 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,920 (MUSIC POUNDS) 693 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:40,440 (LAUGHTER) 694 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,040 Hey, there's a queue here, ladies. 695 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:47,640 Harry Muir plus one. 696 00:36:48,720 --> 00:36:49,760 I can't see it here, love. 697 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:53,840 Oh, well, we tried. Have a...lovely evening. 698 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,200 All right, Grandad. 699 00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:56,640 Erm, it could be under Kenzie. 700 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,920 (SIGHS) Hang on, let me look. 701 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,600 We don't want to put you out. It doesn't matter. 702 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,160 Come on! 703 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,000 What the point of being engaged if we can't brag about it? 704 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,360 Er, or PJ, maybe. 705 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:08,400 Oh, here y'are. Go on, get in. 706 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:14,800 Thanks a bunch. Now I have to go in here. 707 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,840 Well, he seems fun, love. 708 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:36,520 Hey, cut it out. 709 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,080 Erm, excuse me? 710 00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,120 Hey! 711 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:45,720 Hello? 712 00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,920 Honey? Two, please. 713 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:50,200 Thanks. 714 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,520 Oh, my God, you must be the famous Adam. 715 00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,520 I've heard so much about you. 716 00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:57,720 I'm PJ. 717 00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,560 It doesn't ring a bell. 718 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,440 No. Goodness, no. I thought it was a mint. 719 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:11,000 I can't. I'd get struck off. I'm a doctor. 720 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,120 Yeah. I heard. 721 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:14,240 - Shot? - I don't do those 722 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,400 - either, I'm... - Oh, my God, come on. 723 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,000 Everyone's doing them. 724 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:19,480 Yeah, I don't generally do things 725 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,160 just because everyone does them. 726 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,000 I only asked if you wanted to do a shot, 727 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:25,840 not commit mass murder. 728 00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:27,800 Oh, I'd do that. 729 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:33,520 Who's that over there? 730 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:35,240 That one there. 731 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:38,400 The really hot one dancing with Harry? 732 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,640 That's Kenzie. 733 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,200 That's Kenzie. Erm, you know what? 734 00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:50,760 I will have a couple of shots. 735 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,360 I only offered you one. 736 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:53,600 - Cheers. - Cheers. 737 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,880 OK, come on, let's go join them. 738 00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:59,720 - I don't.... I'm fine. - What's it going to take?! 739 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,720 Some kind of major cerebral event. 740 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,360 Jesus, come on! 741 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,880 - Please... - Come on! 742 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,960 Guys? This is Adam. 743 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,560 I can see why you've kept him hidden away. 744 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:40,360 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 745 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:52,080 Breath of fresh air, love? 746 00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:53,440 Yeah. 747 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:57,680 I wasn't really into the cheap cologne and aerosolised semen. 748 00:39:57,720 --> 00:40:00,440 I know what'll cheer you up. Why don't you buy me a drink? 749 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:02,800 I'm with someone. 750 00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:04,800 Well, that's nice. Has he got your wallet? 751 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,600 - Can you just leave me alone? - Gladly. 752 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,400 You know what, love? 753 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:12,680 If you go round life hating everyone you meet, 754 00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:14,520 maybe you hate yourself. 755 00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:23,240 You not coming back in for another dance? 756 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:24,360 Well, honestly, I would 757 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,680 if the music was less shit and I was less boring. 758 00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:28,640 Boring? You're not boring. 759 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,080 Everyone's been raving about you. 760 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:31,520 Well... 761 00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,280 ...not raving, but PJ was... 762 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:35,400 ...definitely positive. 763 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,360 Overall. 764 00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:42,440 You're all I talk about to them, you know? 765 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,000 - Shall we escape? - We can have a... 766 00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:51,520 ...little dance. 767 00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:53,400 I thought you said you didn't like the music. 768 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:54,960 Not in there. 769 00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:57,920 What? 770 00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,720 I've got some moves. 771 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,520 No, no, don't worry, we'll fix that before the wedding.